how deep is your love

这次的收获。我也领了。
how deep is your love, I really need to learn ~
I've learnt it.
I've seen it.
it has touched ma heart.
if there's one thing I learnt from this trip, or say the biggest takeaway, it's the realization of how much he really loves me.
like....there were many instances.
where I was the exception.
like, really cnt go on trip with them, must go with my baobei.
like, other ppl cnt noisy my baobei difer can be as noisy as she wants.
wa that privillege. that honour.
and those effort put in to make sure that I wouldn't miss a thing.
that I would constantly be updated and wouldn't be left out at all.
that despite being so friggin tired.
plus all the outburst, that confidence in me.
i felt the closeness and trust and reassurance he wants and gets from me, for someone who is so private to share all these precious moments with me and not anyone else.
it was truly an honour.
and it has taught me and kinda reassured me how much I meant.
I meant a lot, like a whole damn load.

and I just thought that it's family we are talking about here. like people who are so dear and close to you. people who have known you for your entire life. people who have brought you up.
as unhealthy as it is, as an aries, if your loved ones are in a bad situation, you go all out to protect them.
which was why I stuck him through all and all. and was really relieved to hear him share his precious emotions with me, cursing raging happy eggcited. despite all the rantings about his fam.
but for me, no matter what my fam would or have done, I will still protect them no matter what. it's just that right now, my fam adds in another person to be protected.
and I will protect them with all my might.
cos no one bullies my fam ever.
有我在。

but it is scary too, despite feeling that way, I'm also afraid if one day I no longer hold that place, then wouldn't i be treated like how they were treated?
but maybe not because I am special.
but it's too early to say.
but as of now I just feel truly...relieved and every single insecurities put aside.
that feeling is like, over the past week, minus all the little quarrels btw us, I actually felt like the top of the world, like the happiest woman on earth and all other woman on earth are jealous.
time like that are hard to come by.
i could count the number of times I feel this way in the relationship.
I think this is the 3rd time?
it's something t hats felt deep down inside, not an emotion or feeling that can be felt so easily.
so these are very precious and dear to me.

it's always fun to just listen to bueller talk.
and I just listen.
because guys don't speak as much so it's always interesting when bueller speaks alot.
I like it. i love such moments in fact.
but it's not fun when it's a monologue. thats for sure.
htht is when, you really go deep down to your heart and 掏出心里话 while the other person who listens brings all these deep down into their heart and feel you without having to say much.
the legendary htht that is much difficult to achieve nowadays due to time and tiredness.
So I appreciate it alot.
so yeap I would like to thank him alot.
for making me feel this way, for willing to share all these with me, for giving me the honour and exception. for all the efforts, for everything he have done.
thankee baby.
i truly truly appreciate it.

when people share such moments, you definitely do not just brush them away and ignore all their heartfelt words.
you take it carefully and use your heart to feel them.