otteokke

“What am I good at?
You don't have to be good at any particular thing or everything.
No but there has got to be something out there that I'm really good at?
It's okay not to be good at anything.
But there has got to be something?!?!
You are good at making me happy.”

a past convo we had. 

Oh gosh. Melted so badly I kennut

once again, there were some weird stats. 

so whenever this happens, it gives me the chance to look back at what i once blogged. 

i once asked myself if this would really happen in real life, when i was still single.

i guess it does, now that i am attached.

but definitely not all applies for example the leaving house with wet hair thing.

sometimes no time ma so nvm la. 

but for the rest, more or less it did happened. 

yes, blessed. 

5 years back and 5 years now. 

i have been glad.

the precious 5. 

half a decade of knowing someone. 

an extremely great friend to be.

even though this friend is also extremely dominant. 

i was glad this friend stayed on, and i have always felt very blessed to have a friend like him. 

5 years from now, i do know that this will still be one of the best friendships i've ever had.

life would be so dull without a friend like that.

someone you can talk to, someone you can consult anytime, someone who is willing to be with you through ups and downs.

when you are sad, all songs that are broadcasted on the radio feels sad and feels like all applies to you too. 

you know how it feels like?

like the majesty in the qing dynasty, the dominant king who withhold the most power, kneeling and pleading to you. 

那个可怜兮兮，伤透的心， 苦苦哀求。

都很不忍心。

回想之前的回忆，想起了点点滴滴，想起了全部的过往。

但是。。

还是不想去尝试。

“我真的想和你在一起 却在你未来缺席

在你的未来缺席 像是一出剧本 未完待续” (缺席，黄靖伦）
不想不听　没有追究的言词"

“难道早已注定　不能真正拥有你” （如果你还爱我， 光良）

"因为爱你　我可以若无其事 “ （若无其事， 光良）

i haven't thought of a future without us.

i haven't thought of a future without you.

we envisioned so many things together.

included each other so much in each and every plan we have individually or futuristically. 

movie buddy, lonesome buddy, k buddy, play buddy, companion.

and accomplice for so many occasions.

the best combo you can ever get, a leo and an aries. 

i highly doubt there will be an even better combo couple than this.

i highly doubt there will be anyone who love each other as much as us do. 

it's like meant to be, many many happy times. 

but if there is a need, i would.

i would endure the future without us. 

no doubt it would be more lonely.

no doubt it will be sad.

no doubt it will be much much emptier.

but we never try we never know. 

i will survive it no matter how pain it is. 

it will be a permanent repeat of these few days, worsen a billion times.

yes 4 years might be quite some time. 

then why couples break up after 10 years.

why couples divorce after knowing each other for decades.

things happen.

"plans are only plans, they can change"

somebody thought me this. 

what happen to this sentence now. 

as for now.

i'm really dejected and lost.