Dear diary ~: healthy eating and bueller

I'm sorry these are 2 long posts.
Have been very thoughtful for some reasons.

Maybe the books.
I love it when the author writes about the male thoughts.
Cos guys tend to speak less and not let their thoughts known.
So it was quite cool reading about it.
And those dialogues often make me wonder if bull thinks the same way too.
How much the guy fluttered when he saw the girl, how much they wanted them, how incomparable their girl was, and how hurt their heart gets when they see their girl hurting. And how they would do everything and anything to make them happy and not make them sad.
Too much aww as I read I might have just confused fiction and non fiction.

my thoughts are all jumbled over this post.

cos any thoughts for that day, i just pen it down as and when i liked and saved this as a draft before posting out.

Felt very sayang during the trip cos auntie was taking care and looking out for me like her own.
Damn chuwa.
And uncle too hehe.

so touched. ^.^

and still got bull taking care of me.

huehuehue.
And I damn chuwa having the entire house to ourself.
How we talked and talked till we fall asleep.
Hehehehe.
Chuwa max.
Then waking up to dinner.
I could do that frequently (:

and this bull very randomly rmb that he didn't fed my his unagi during lunch that day.

nampun. but it was okay cos it was so random but he realised hehehe.
I have always thought that things would be easier after marriage cos you get to spend all your time together, majority at least.
But recently I was wrong.
Being married only makes a relationship harder, so unless it's all sort out and you're ready to overcome the huge barrier in front of you, don't get married.
Financially stable and all.
That's what I think.
路途遥远呢。。
And so those who got married at young age or people around me getting married now, I am pretty envious of their courage to enter the next phase of life.
It's something more than romantic. It takes a lot of courage too.

So muddled head today that I forgot to bring my card out.
And had just enough cash to pay for dinner.
Hurhurhur.
And forget to buy bread despite bulls reminder.
And even forgot to take the money that bull give me.
Hurhurhur.
Blur like sotong really.

quotes from the book:

Falling in love may not be a conscious decision, but removing yourself from the situation before it happens is. So before I meet someone I think I may fall in love with, I'll just remove my presence from them until I'm ready for it.

this was what i wanted to do initially. but i got myself twirled in this whirlwind of love.

loving someone means accepting all the things and people that person loves too.

because you don't only love that person him/her self. you love it and accept it and wouldn't ask them to change a single bit. because it was their original state you fell in love with,

You will know when you fall in love because you just know. You won't question it. And when that happens, your priorities change. You'll only think about that person and how you would do anything to see them happy. Even if it meant walking away from them and sacrificing your own happiness for theirs

priorities changes. doing anything you can to make them happy.
this didn't happen for the next post.
we weren't the priority, we did nothing to make us happy.
maybe it wasn't that love-ly/love-able after all.

Much random but I realised I hasn't blog about this at all.
I rmb when les miserable ended.
I was in tears.
And I had no idea why.
It might be because my distraction has come to an end.
It might be because such a wonderful musical has ended and I will never ever find a moment like that.
The wish for them to encore was humongous.
Like sing another song or something.
But I was practically wiping all my tears away when it ended.
Probably a touchy day.
Being sad after k.
Being sad after so many weeks.
Which was pretty unbearable and finally there's someone there for me?
It might be because I was happy to have went and watched such a wonderful performance that nv in the world would I find anyone to watch or get the tickets for me.
So for that I was grateful.
But to this date idk.
Much random but yeahh.
can't believe i was in tears after a musical.
the literal "mummy...ITS OVERRRR...."

the day we went JB.

and somebody was eggcited.

but i was not so eggcited.

cos so early sia.

breakkie was at some dim sum shop.

i ate sufficient and not too much.

not too little.

quite nice not bad heh.

first pic he smiled and looked into my cam.

2nd pic he did a funny face.

3rd pic he sian already.

4th pic needless to say, zero interest liao.

we took a total of 7 pics, these were the only 4 he looked into the cam.

hurhurhur.

smelly piggy.

lunchie!

his momsie's kopi kosong.

must be bitter until kennut la.

i kenut.

thankfully his dad said to have lunch else i might have hungry died.

to share.

or was this his dad's?

idk but i tried 1 piece.

not bad but not fantastic.

their unagi rice.

that i took a very very tiny bite.

he fed my sweet potato though.

i didn't like it.

the sauce was so so so salty hahaha.

mine! gave away half to his mom so i ate half and i was slightly full.

threw the rest of the fried chicken into the side order so i ate 1 chicken only.

then down it with soup i was full full.

kekekke.

dinz! my mini bowl of chirashi don.

SO YUMMMMMMY.

it was the best dish ever out of my entire week.

the seared fishy taste to the flavoured rice.

thankew for the special meal hehhee.

so special that the flavours are etched in my mind and heart now.

how can something i dislike be so good.

its the same as his risotto balls i think.

maybe his next goal might be to make me like porridge hahhaa.

the rice were extremely flavourful yet it felt healthy and not too salty.

so yummmeh.

or izzit cos this was my first rice after many days?

his. the original.

very very flavourful too.

hehe mine was really mini but i was quite full after half a bowl.

the scallops were so good too.

my chef searing the fish.

i can really stand there and watch him cook.

funny how he's doing all these for me when i should be doing something for him hahahha.

and he continued helping me scrub my crust and skin away.

hehehhee.

so sweeeet lo.

thankew bullbull (:

random note, i think bullbull is our longest ever nickname.

previously was what i can't rmb.

"routine of any kind has been difficult to establish, there don't seem to be any rules for me while everybody else marches to the best of their own important drum. i constantly feel hungry, metaphorically and literally. i am hungry for something to do, somewhere to go but i'm also hungry for everything in my kitchen because it's right beside me, every day and i have nothing better to do than eat. i am bored."

this is me every single day.

this fully substantiates and justify why i always eat.

even during exams. i have nothing to do other than study and eat haha.

and recently, the hunger to feel needed and for somewhere to go.

NOT spring cleaning though.